9:33-9:43

Did you really think I forgot about you? No. No. I was gone but I was aware I was gone. To be fair, really, I was gone on a trip. and I didn't forget about writing, in fact, I got some nice writing done, but not here, not on my daily task master style. Because I was on vacation. New things? apple juice, americanos, gossip girl, being 26, the feeling of falling younger, an appreciation, a capability, a freedom, and all the same old shit. But, surly, I had something important to say? right? I mean, no. there is not that guarantee. what is guaranteed? reassurance. I can offer that. Reassurance. Don't you worry, about a thing. Cause every little thing, gonna be alright. Today I talked to my sister and she told me my father was mean to my aunt. the actual incident is understandable-- an expression of fear, anger, and resentment in a fit of rage. so too, is the guilt understandable-- he is ignoring her. they will come back together, surely, they know this, my whole family knows this. it does make going back to jackson all the more intriguing. i think im going to go for a couple of weeks. i don't know what i will do there? what will i do there? hmm. its not like i have a job. but i would like to be there for a while. maybe just two. two weeks. that could be long enough. i will be between jobs. jobs? well projects anyway. i am going to live an a monastery. but maybe not for another fifty years. not forever, just for a spell. like a little check in with my internal buddha. i mean buddhist monastery. i forget there are other kinds. atrocious. typing is atrocious. i must make this go faster, i think, but really all i make go faster is my pinkie hitting the backspace key. tap tap. tap is too strong of a word. its not tapping. its not forceful enough to be a tap. but anyways. yeah, you know me. its true. turtles, time changes, today was the grayest day of the summer. it rained fog all day. i was sick. i still am a little sick. no energy. just gotta lay down. just gotta be sick. but tomorrow? tomorrow the meal i made for myself of love and dedication and protein and kale will have revamped my body and i will be rested and well. i am allowing for that option, anyway. loves.