a new night

you know why. because i can see the golden gate bridge from my bed. and a million other things. roofs and trees and in the daylight the big hills of the neighboring country. because i can name things and things have names and words that attach them ideas and meanings and sometimes being able to pop back into collegiate thinking makes it seem like the whole damn experience was worth it. Im sorry I cannot spell, I think I will have to try not to say to prospective employers. I think about how I will have to use spell check and google when that fails to give the impression that we all spell words in the agreed upon fashion. my spelling isnt an act of rebellion, but sometimes I wish it was. like, look, look here, this girl is smart and she cant spell. but then i think about checking the time and about daylight savings time and what a pain it is what with the early night coming and the surprise extra long days of spring to summer and how maybe this is just some trick to make us go insane or think summer is better than it is and winter is darker than it is, but then consider the possibility that in fact, maybe it is no treacherous trick at all but just a time to be conscious of time, of it slipping away or of its relativity or importance or what ever you will think about how time is to you. I moved into the city. my back hurts and I am tired, aw to be expected I guess. super stress. super big. super size life styles of the, blah blah blah. Dreaming of the future. wondering what that will be all about and if I can, as i always say, do what I want. dont be scared to do what you want. that is like my theme these days. do what you want, as always good advice, but this time with the viewing not doing that as a fearful act. i have to get a curtain for a long oddly shaped window in my room. really, a shade might be easier and more practical. either way, i have to get a covering so that I can sleep in on the mornings there isn't construction outside, so I can sleep in my bed without the light dawning in on my head reminding me that there are acts of consciousness begging to be acted upon. set into motion. play on player. there is a natural end to things, a beginning, you know, yada yada.