I miss you, baby I'm back

So its not what you think. I haven't been gone from the seat of expression. Rather, I have been writing like a madwoman, which is what I am mostly convinced I am. I write like its a nervous habit, I wrote earlier today, my best nervous habit. Pema Chodron says I am not alone. She says that other people feel this. This right now that I am feeling. Okay, Pema. I believe you, mainly cause I have a spirit guide crush on you. Okay, other people feel this. There is an argument to be made there. And the great thing about it is, that even if you don't believe it, its easier to believe that other people believe that no one else feels this, and then, there is a synocipity. But really, wow, this shift over to living in San Francisco, I mean, its been big. BIG UP and BIG DOWN. yup. daily. I am trying to figure out what is possible. That is my current task. Not so much consciously, but that is what the workings of my whatever are using to crate the path in front of me. What is possible. hmm, you tell me? whats possible? well, there is the anything is possible, there is there everything is possible, there is the reality of possibility and the possibilities of reality. No really why this is important is because I am working on doing some serious big great work with my life, I mean, I guess to give myself some credit I am doing some serious big great work with my life ( I am such a little begrudger sometimes) and so its important for me to have a relationship to possibility, so that I can do the possible. There is this Rob Brezsny quote, well, its not him, its him quoting someone else, and the point is that the key to life is to have a task that you aim to do everyday, but that is impossible. Okay, its a lot more eloquent than that in the original form, but, well, that's a just of the meaning. Like that there must be something that we get up for everyday that we can never have. This is a tricky supposition because unrealistic expectations get me into trouble. I mean, I get it on some soul yearning desire, like okay, i want for the merger of all souls into one giant oversoul (don't quote me on that) but like humanity is ever going to shed its human skin and fall into one big universal love embrace, but its still worth working for or something? somersaults.