you may say its late for coffee

You may say its late for coffee. I mean, one could say that it is a little late in the day, 12 noon, to be finishing my first cup of coffee. But then you didn't wake up at 10:10 this morning, did you? Today is the first day of real official there is no turning back fall is here to stay. The morning, and by morning I mean the days eleventh hour, still carried chill. The sun had been up for hours, but could do nothing to neutralize the crispness of fall. god dammit I shout. what the hell! god damn seasons, always changing on me. I am not actually that angry about it. but i am a little resentful about the end of summer. Why you gonna leave me like that baby? after all our late evenings, hot afternoons, disappointingly cold nights? but really, i do like fall, as much as I like anything. basically, i have three categories of appreciation or depreciation. 1) loathe 2) idolize and adore 3)alright. I guess I should be grateful for the mediocrity of my middle ground lest I be swinging from extreme to extreme with no pause time in between. you know whats hard to get? a good hair cut. because a really good haircut, like all really good things, cant be planned for or sought after, but just has to happen. holy shit, one might think, i thought i was just going to add a little shape to my hair, but no, no what this stylist has done, well, i never would have thought-- its fucking fantastic. because if you go in expecting a fantastic do, then you are likely delusional if you feel you got it walking out. my life, it basically thrives on disappointment. like if scenarios that went the way i think would be best, well, when they do then i was wrong and its not best (disappointment in self) and when they don't go the way I am positive is best, that is disappointment in others. and these are the basically two options that happen most often. i mean, i can allow that it is possible for situations to unfold like they a child's playhouse come to life. I will allow that it is possible, and yes, maybe in searching through the archives there is record of this. but who cares? apparently it lacks so in appreciative value that i cant think of an example right now. not that i tried to think through my past, I think it should just pop up into my thoughts, times when I have been really pleased with myself and life,(but not pompous! no never. always modest. THE MOST GOD DAMN MODEST PERSON EVER!), which either means that it actually happens more often than I admit and the pleasure is not noteworthy, or that it does happen, but its just not something I actually care about. okay. whatevs. love you forever!