11:29-11:39, one day i swear i will write something that you can read without having to wring-out my self absorption from it

hi. hi. hi. yes. yup. uh-huh. yes. yes. yea-H. brief correction. small alteration on the altercation of the street corner news stand up for what you believe in your power big fist in the air not up asses back seat window up thats the way this is the way i eat my breakfast. thank you going to take a break. that is what the band said. they said they mixed it all up and got confused then blended it up with a frozen banana for a tasty smoothie. then the gospel singers came on and made everyone feel grateful that at least they were walking up the highway hardway to heaven but before that no one was worried about which direction anyone was going in. this is an actual conversation i had today
me:"and is that cream based?"
lady: no, i think its vegan.
me: "okay give me the calm chowder. and a piece of chocolate cake."
lady: that's a great combo. it'll be ready in about ten minutes.
and you know what, she was right. it was a great combo. and a great cake. it tasted like a cake my dad would make, butter cream frosting and all, and this made me wonder, as i have been feeling something different lately in my relationship with mississippi, and i think mostly its distance. well, i am going to visit soon and im sure that will help illuminate some things for me. but for now, for now, for now, i am going to keep on this train like i am going to be this garden teacher and work for pennies but make it the raddest program you have ever seen and get tons of grants for it and yea yea yeah super rad, sew my 'garden educator' patch on my vest and walk away from it to do something else and probably radically different that i care about. like drinking. ha ha. no, just kidding. i need glasses. okay. that is less true than it could be. i want glasses because they make me feel serious and smart and like i know something and i have been feeling that way anyway here lately and so i guess i don't really need glasses, just these pretend glasses of desire. i'll just keep wearing them. and maybe i'll keep working my ill focusing right eye into a frenzy of perfect eagle vision. former glory. future.