6:32-6:42. then back to bed

Ten freakin minutes. You want me to write ten minutes. I mean, its 6:30 in the morning for fucks sake. but I have been up for thirty minutes already might as well keep it going right? I mean, that is the direction I am headed in. Practice and practice for practice. going going gone. gone already. all ready for change of the times and the heat and the wind and the on goings on the bigger mind. bigger man. bigger picture. its flow, I know you dont care about reading this because it has nothing to do with you, explicitly, I mean, I am not really trying to make it all make some kind of sense, not trying to communicate some connection between all the words I am typing, but may the nonsense be enjoyable. because its been that way for years. because I like explaining, because the goal is to have a direct link between my hands and the endless voice in my head. because this might have been easier if the tea I made this morning had been drinkable, and not some stew of busted tea bag. back, back, back in the day when I was a kid, I'm not a kid anymore. last night I was thinking that I really wish I could enjoy sesame street as much as I did in previous days. you know, when you enjoyed the hell out of some sesame street? well, i certainly did. but alas, i don't know if it will ever bring me such joy again. but there has got to be something cool, equally as beautiful about getting older, right? don't think about it. too depressing. that is the joy of being older, to know all, or enough, of what is fucked up with the world and to not think about it. islands of garbage bigger than our country in the ocean? don't think about it. plastics in the water? don't think about it. teenagers in jail indefinitely at gitmo? don't think about it. because its like I can only handle a small amount of eternally depressing damned for damnation information, fact or fiction, at a time. like, I mean, give me a break. there is enough suffering in town to break me. never me mind about all the other atrocities. they are all the same anyway. pain pleasure glory treasure. I'll spell check this, before I post, just to keep things looking like I someone taught me better.