10:07-10:17

whew. going. working. grounded. fearful of starting my period. well actually i already started. starting over. going under. staying a float. loving that saying something changes everything and nothing. hearting pema chodron. being grateful and happy. understanding so much. having our say. getting health care. caring for my health. and again, understanding my strengths. thanks. thanks. thanks. am i perfect now. is it all perfect. is it over yet. are we done. cozy. sun and sweat on my skin. a scratch on my forehead from a lemon tree. knowing. not much at all. well, i do know what you are thinking. or what you are thinkfeeling. or what you are experience. i mean, i am really good at tuning in to your energy and reflecting it back. its like my talent. not everyone one does it for me. but well, you know, and i don't do it all the time. but the familiarity will cause a shock to you. like you just said hi and then all of a sudden there is a flip and a knowing or an assumption and a deportation. okay. and i can see how this is changing and what it is changing into and i can only hope that it is well, something else. no, something here. no. no. oh oh. confusion. ease. ease. easier now. with practice and time. not such a dearth. dearth meets dirt. dirt full of fungus and bacteria and dirt. past comes back over but its different, no, this song feels like me five years ago but what i thought that felt like doesn't feel that way anymore. changing who i used to be. past is done sure its over and gone and past and yea yea on and on but show me one mother fucker that is true for and then i will have a different conversation. the other thing going is that who wants the past to be all done and gone. i mean, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.